Aussie-fication. That process whereby one becomes a naturalised citizen of the Aussie Aussie Aussie , Oi Oi Oi Universe.
Not to be confused with a simple citizenship ceremony. Those are so 1990 darl.
I am an Aussie (with some sad but ingrained Saffer DNA , it's a tough life mate). And I almost have the certificate to prove it.
Aussie-fication begins in earnest the first time you use the word mate. Sincerely and without satire, sarcasm or feeling self-conscious.
It grows as you start saying "yeah" instead of a hearty Ja. Can you even remember the first time you said "yeah" without thinking about it ?
You start to sprinkle Aussie slang into your daily vernacular, intermingled with your Boets, China's , Ag Shame's. And some other choice language.
No Drama's mate. She'll be alright. Gudunya!
You go home and wish you were at home within a few days. True story. Both ways nogal.
You know you've lost the battle entirely when you say Yeah to someone who is speaking Afrikaans to you.
At first you hate the place. These strange people. These strange words. These same words with different goddamn meanings. This space where everything you know and love does not exist.
You don't feel brave anymore.
Then you get to know some people. And a few more. And some of them disappoint you. Because they're shitty people. But you blame the place. And you call all Australians nasty words. You don't mean it, but you say it anyway.
You don't feel sad anymore, you feel mad. What the hell were you thinking coming to this place?
You feel worse. Then you feel better. And then worse again.
And then someone dies back home. And it sucks. And you hate the place even more.
And one day about halfway through your journey you wake up and make a decision to make it better.
So you get out there, and you start meeting people. Anyone. Everyone. You're a bit more discriminating in who you trust.
You make some good friends. You win some awards. People think you're great and you start to believe them about this Fair Go thing they're always going on about.
You acknowledge that Aussies are human too. Strange, friendly humans. Nod and smile boet just nod and smile. Maybe you were wrong about them. These strangely private people. So much going on under the surface.
And your good friends need you one day, you react without a thought. And it is good. You have real friends.
You fill in the forms. And then some more forms. You sit a test that's supposed to take 45 minutes but actually takes 2 (true story). You wonder if you missed something for 3 weeks while you wait for that letter.
The letter comes. Friggin Yay!! Sommer Lekker my china.
Just a short ceremony, some local foliage to kill off in my clay garden (Victoria is all clay) , and I will be an Aussie.
Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi indeed.
Not to be confused with a simple citizenship ceremony. Those are so 1990 darl.
I am an Aussie (with some sad but ingrained Saffer DNA , it's a tough life mate). And I almost have the certificate to prove it.
Aussie-fication begins in earnest the first time you use the word mate. Sincerely and without satire, sarcasm or feeling self-conscious.
 |
| Hmm ... |
You start to sprinkle Aussie slang into your daily vernacular, intermingled with your Boets, China's , Ag Shame's. And some other choice language.
No Drama's mate. She'll be alright. Gudunya!
You go home and wish you were at home within a few days. True story. Both ways nogal.
You know you've lost the battle entirely when you say Yeah to someone who is speaking Afrikaans to you.
At first you hate the place. These strange people. These strange words. These same words with different goddamn meanings. This space where everything you know and love does not exist.
You don't feel brave anymore.
Then you get to know some people. And a few more. And some of them disappoint you. Because they're shitty people. But you blame the place. And you call all Australians nasty words. You don't mean it, but you say it anyway.
You don't feel sad anymore, you feel mad. What the hell were you thinking coming to this place?
You feel worse. Then you feel better. And then worse again.
And then someone dies back home. And it sucks. And you hate the place even more.
And one day about halfway through your journey you wake up and make a decision to make it better.
So you get out there, and you start meeting people. Anyone. Everyone. You're a bit more discriminating in who you trust.
You make some good friends. You win some awards. People think you're great and you start to believe them about this Fair Go thing they're always going on about.
You acknowledge that Aussies are human too. Strange, friendly humans. Nod and smile boet just nod and smile. Maybe you were wrong about them. These strangely private people. So much going on under the surface.
And your good friends need you one day, you react without a thought. And it is good. You have real friends.
You fill in the forms. And then some more forms. You sit a test that's supposed to take 45 minutes but actually takes 2 (true story). You wonder if you missed something for 3 weeks while you wait for that letter.
The letter comes. Friggin Yay!! Sommer Lekker my china.
Just a short ceremony, some local foliage to kill off in my clay garden (Victoria is all clay) , and I will be an Aussie.
Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi indeed.
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