Ask Steph

There are the things that you don't really understand when you decide to migrate , and it's probably a good thing . If you did , you may never leave and go on your grand adventure. You know it will be hard . You tell yourself it's going to be tough, you prepare for the things you expect, like feeling homesick , and not knowing how anything works. There are a number of things I could write about , that most migration websites and migrant support groups don't really tell you. But for now , I'd like to share something that has been a tough spot for me , for the last week or so. You can't really prepare for what it feels like , when someone dies back home. There's grief.  And then there's migrant guilt-ridden grief.

I remember as a child christmas was the most fantastic time of year. I remember the build up to christmas day, from the moment school finished on that one last day of term, the excitement and anticipation could barely be contained in my house. Growing every day that we got closer to the 25th until I had whipped the whole house up into a festive whirpool, and , to quote my husband ( ever the sharp witted cynic) it looked like someone had vomited christmas all over the house , inside and out. And I loved every second of it. I was nagging to have the decorations up as early as November , catching christmas beetles and whispering lists of all the presents that I wanted to them before letting them go outside my window. I made my brothers and anyone else I could bully enough come caroling with me ( yes , I made them go caroling in the height of an Africa Summer)  , I made my parents stay up late on christmas eve , with the tree lights going , just sitting and talking and singing caro...

the ups and downs of melbourne If you are one of those bitter nasty types don't read further, this story is going to be an honest account of what it's like to leave your life, family, friends, and everything you know and love, for something that you hope is going to be better. If you are sick to death of hearing about how great it is away from SA then stop reading and go look for your jollies somewhere else. If you love to gloat with glee about the "Saffers" who leave and end up being miserable go look for another article. If you think that emigrants are traitors, then consider yourself descended from traitors, how else do you think white people ended up at the southern tip of Africa? We have been here seven months now. It was one of the toughest things I have ever done in my life. And I've had some rough times let me tell you. Firstly, I did not leave because I hate South Africa, on the contrary, I love South Africa and I am proudly South African. I left b...