Ask Steph

Aussie-fication. That process whereby one becomes a naturalised citizen of the Aussie Aussie Aussie , Oi Oi Oi Universe. Not to be confused with a simple citizenship ceremony. Those are so 1990 darl. I am an Aussie (with some sad but ingrained Saffer DNA , it's a tough life mate). And I almost have the certificate to prove it. Aussie-fication begins in earnest the first time you use the word mate. Sincerely and without satire, sarcasm or feeling self-conscious.

I have decided that there is nothing worse than being sick in a country where you have no idea what you can and can't buy at a pharmacy. Everything has a different name, the dosages aren't the same, and even if you find a replacement for your tried and tested flu-busting favourites. There is no guarantee that they'll  sommer * hand it over  the counter. I want Orange flavoured Eno's for my chronic heartburn . I want proper sinutab, with all it's varieties , and not this wishy washy crap over here. I want Sinutab ND for the daytime , and Sinutab with codeine for when my flu-ish aches and pains and sniffs are so bad that I can't sleep. I want med-lemon extreme with ginger and ginseng. I do love my Vick Vapo-Steam though , and the extra soft 2-ply eucalyptus tissues. And the chewable Vitamin C that doesn't taste like a lemon gave birth in your mouth. And the really  lekker   blue stuff that everyone gives to their children when they're si...