Ask Steph

I have just realised how great the Australian  need to be different to the rest of the world is. . A standard table spoon for example ,  it's 15 ml ( or 3 tsp) in the rest of the world. In Australia ?  it must be bigger and better of course.So it's 20 ml . New Zealand , their closest neighbour, and very similar culture in  some respects - also 15 ml. So it's really just the Aussies that have to have bigger measurements for things. And weather. Not only is it different , from minute to minute in some instances, it's described completely differently too. Wind speeds , where people would be running scared in other parts of the world ..... in Melbourne ? Oh no mate , that's a Moderate Breeze. The last 2 -3 days have been so windy, that the flap at the bottom of my front door , that keeps the wind out on a cold day ... is making noises like the foghorn of a tanker. I am not kidding, it sounds like there's a big boat coming up the road - you can hear it ...

It's another rainy Sunday in Melbourne, after 3 days of almost constant rain and / or drizzle. So lots of mud. everywhere where there 'aint pavement or grass. And it's cherry-picking season. Which means nothing if you're from South Africa, where your cherries arrive in a little plastic box, on top of green Bubble Wrap from Mother Woolies, all washed off and clean , and fresh , and chilled. Apparently - and I have it on good authority here -  it's said that cherries ( the fresh kind - not those nasty sugar soaked red-dyed almond flavoured diabetic-bombs) actually don't originate from a fridge at Woolworths. And apparently , here in Australia , our Aussie Cousins know this - and they actually get the joy of picking and eating them straight from the vine. ( do cherries grow on a vine ?  I dunno - I always thought they came from green bubble wrap... ) . So - today is a day of hard choices. You see - the little over-achiever that I am , I have signed up to ...

So , children's birthdays are the same the world over apparently. Gooey sweets, cake , snacks  - lots of balloons , and parents and assorted family friends all watching the festivities unfold. And Cream Soda. Although in Australia it's red, South Africa it's green ( the way it should be) and elsewhere it's either brown or clear ( like sprite) . Talk about a schizo species - we can't even keep the same flavour of cold-drink the same colour the world over. I sometimes think that we enjoy the parties and the gifts more than the kids to be truthful. Nothing gives you that warm mushy feeling like watching a child open the present you bought them , and seeing their faces light up at the sight of the 3rd superman outfit for the day. You're thinking - damn , should have gone with the board game. But the kid is thinking, 'Awesome!' , and Mum is thinking , 'Thank heavens , now I don't have to fight with him to wear something else while I wash the sup...

I am not religious , by any stretch of the imagination ..... but I am starting see why so many immigrants end up in community churches when they move to a new country..... you leave behind everything , and everyone , and when you get here - you get a ready made batch of friends , complete with total 'Christian' acceptance and love.  It also  doesn't hurt that they  also arrived from somewhere else and so know first hand the stress and hard work it takes to settle in....  The hardest part of leaving isn't the goodbyes, it's the empty days and nights when you have no-one to just pop around to for a quick cuppa after a hard day at work.  It's the fact that all those years of meeting people and getting to know people , and weeding out the insincere ones , and sticking with your girlfriend through the bad boyfriends, and fighting with the good ones to make sure they treat her right , and picking up your brother after too much booze on the weekend , and c...

the ups and downs of melbourne If you are one of those bitter nasty types don't read further, this story is going to be an honest account of what it's like to leave your life, family, friends, and everything you know and love, for something that you hope is going to be better. If you are sick to death of hearing about how great it is away from SA then stop reading and go look for your jollies somewhere else. If you love to gloat with glee about the "Saffers" who leave and end up being miserable go look for another article. If you think that emigrants are traitors, then consider yourself descended from traitors, how else do you think white people ended up at the southern tip of Africa? We have been here seven months now. It was one of the toughest things I have ever done in my life. And I've had some rough times let me tell you. Firstly, I did not leave because I hate South Africa, on the contrary, I love South Africa and I am proudly South African. I left b...